No Lies, Just Love
by Jaseon
Summary: Unable to cope with Marissa's death Ryan attempts to commit suicide. When Summer comes to his aid the pair begin to realize that their pain is what binds them together. As Seth travels to France to help Taylor, Summer and Ryan grow closer. Chapter 7 Up!
1. The Emotional Overdose

A few things to know beforehand.

This is my third OC fan fiction, my first two 'Nothing is what it seems in Newport' and 'Welcome to the Dark Side' were written over a year ago, half way during season 2 and I eventually got tired of them and started writing 24 fan fiction instead. I've found that 24 fan fiction however is very tiring to write, mostly because of the many intricate plot lines it generally involves. So taking this into account, I'm a little rusty but I also feel that my writing has improved quite a bit since my last attempts.

This new fan fiction will be my personal take on Season 4, it will involve elements of the first and second episodes of Season 4 which I've seen and personally thought were brilliant, further chapters will also work with what happens on the TV show, the plot of my story will follow it loosely but by different means. I tend to prefer darker story lines and this will be reflected on my takes of what should or could of happened. I'm also an obsessed Summer/Ryan fan, even though they've never actually been a couple on the show, I think they would work really well and ever since seeing episode 1 of Season 1 I've always wanted them to get together. On the other hand I would also like to see something happen between Taylor and Seth, I think the episodes in Season 3 where Taylor bought Seth the Yakuza DVD implied that they might share a connection beyond friendship and Taylor had something that Summer didn't have. But anyway, whilst the pairs I put together in the beginning might be different from what's shown on the show, that doesn't necessarily mean it'll always remain that way.

And now, time for the main event.

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Graffiti was splattered all over the walls of a alley somewhere in Chino, rain was falling from a clouded sky and the night was almost pitch black, splintered only by the light from a nearby street lamp, one of the few in the area not yet broken. A figure lay next to an overflowing trash can covered by a thin blanket and miscellaneous rubbish, slow shallow breaths exhaled from a body as still as a corpse. A puncture mark was clearly outlined on the figure's arm, cuts and bruises crisscrossed across his face, his hands were scraped and bloodied, he might as well of been dead.

A patrol car moved slowly down the road, one of Chino's worst areas the policeman were wide awake and alert, on the lookout for any of the three major crimes in Chino, prostitute's, vandalism and drug deals. The policeman on the right was glancing out the window, moving his flashlight down the dark alleys on the right of the road. That's where the deals would be going down, out of sight. As he moved his flashlight over the nearest alley he called to his partner to stop the car. He pointed to a figure that appeared to be sleeping in one of the alleys, "another homeless Paul, we better send him back to the shelter" he muttered to his partner. He left the car and started walking over to the figure, "Rise and shine buddy, time to get you to the shelter". The policeman moved over to the figure and reached down to rouse him, as he began to turn the figure over his eyes went wide as he saw the bloodied face and puncture wound on his arm. He quickly grabbed for his radio, "This is Sergeant Richardo, car number 43, I need an ambulance at Weary street, Chino ASAP. Teenage Male, with cuts and bruises covering much of his face, hands and upper body, also signs of heroin use and his eyes are not responding to my flashlight. Could be unconscious, breathing is very shallow and his pulse is slow and faint. Looks like an overdose of some kind."

Within about 10 minutes the ambulance came screaming down the street towards the alley, the policeman were with the figure, talking to him, trying to rouse him from his unconsciousness. The paramedics raced over to the figure, the stretcher with them, sliding it next to him they gently lifted the figure up and onto it. After the figure was in position and strapped up, they moved the stretcher back to the ambulance, loaded it up and within seconds they were back on the road, heading for the nearest hospital.

The two policeman were left standing next to the alley, the one who had found the man, Sergeant Ricardo remained standing, thinking as his partner returned to their vehicle.

"You know Paul, that kid can't have been older than 18," Ricardo called over the top of the squad car.

"I know man, I know man," Paul replied as he climbed into the car.

Richardo shook his head before he walked over to the police car, this was a messy neighborhood but seeing a teenager lying in a alley, bloodied and dying was almost too much. Thinking of his kids back home he hopped into the car and they drove back to the station. They were going to be spending the rest of the night filling out paperwork.

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The doors to the ICU burst open as the paramedics rushed the young man towards the operating room, a short blood test during the ambulance ride had revealed dangerous quantities of heroin in the man's blood stream, a Heroin overdose was much easier to the treat than a stimulant overdose. Usually it would take several hours for a person to die from a opiate overdose and that was only without first aid, the youth had a fighting chance and the doctor's and nurses of Chino Hospital were going to help him out as much as they could. The first steps were to ensure that his airways weren't blocked and give him a respirator to help him breath, this was done in the ambulance shortly after he was diagnosed.

When the team reached the nearest empty emergency room the Doctor proceeded to inject Naloxone into the man's blood stream. Naloxone was a counter drug that would work to reverse the effects of a Heroin overdose, preventing life-threatening depression of the central nervous system and respiratory system. After this was administered, the Nurses and doctor began to treat the wounds covering the face and hands of the man, stitching them up and applying bandages where necessary. Once he was patched up the Doctor's left him in his bed, he was still unconscious and wouldn't awaken till the effects of the Heroin had worn off. He needed to be watched for several hours, in case the drugs failed and he went into respiratory failure, but for the time being he was in the clear.

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Downstairs one of the hospital's nurse's began typing the details from the young man's driver's license into the hospitals computer system. When the results came up she stared at the computer screen for a few seconds, before typing the details in again. A family from Newport had come up as the young man's legal guardians, knowing this couldn't be right she went about re-entering the details. When the Newport address and phone number came up on the screen again, she inspected the license once more. She definitely hadn't made a mistake, every letter and number matched, the man's guardians really must be from Newport. She reached over and lifted up a nearby phone, dialing the number from the screen.

The phone rang only once before it was picked up, "Ryan?" a lady answered into the phone, the hospital secretary took a deep breath before she replied, this was always one of the hardest parts of her job.

"Am I speaking to the legal guardian's of Ryan Atwood?" she asked the lady,

"Yes this is Kirsten Cohen, Ryan is my son".

"Kirsten this is Nurse Parker from the Chino Hospital, Ryan was recently admitted via an Ambulance, he appears to have overdosed on Heroin, he also appears to have been assaulted, he has cuts and bruises covering much of his arm and face. The doctor's have managed to stabilize him for the time being". Nurse Parker could hear the sharp intact of breath on the other end of the line when Kirsten heard the news, she could almost feel the pain that Kirsten would be feeling right now, almost taste the tears that would be leaking out the sides of her eyes.

Kirsten spoke as calmly into the phone as she could, "We'll be right over, thank you for calling", before she dropped the phone to the ground, forgetting even to press the end call button. She reached out for the wall next to her to stop herself from falling and then started to slide down the wall with her arms covering herself, she was already crying, unable to keep it in any longer. Sandy appeared from around the corner, a look of curiosity on his face, "Was that Ryan?" he called to Kirsten from down the hallway. As soon as he saw the way she was sitting, arms wrapped around herself, rocking back and forth, tears falling off her face onto the carpet, he raced down the hallway towards her, reaching down to rest his arms on her body. "Kirsten, what happened?" he asked her.

"Ryan... drug overdose... hospital... in... chino", Kirsten let out between sobs. The news hit Sandy like a mack truck, he stopped dead in his tracks and just looked at his wife for a few seconds.

"Well... is he... is he alright?" he asked her.

Wiping the tears away from the side of her face, Kirsten moved to stand up, "He's in the ICU, they're still observing him. He's unconscious at the moment but the Nurse sounded hopeful. I'm going to drive over there now and see him".

"Don't worry sweetie, I'll drive", Sandy reached down and gently helped Kirsten to her feet. He cupped his hands around her face and kissed her softly, pulling her towards him in a tight hug. She started sobbing again into his shoulder as he gently brushed her hair with his fingers. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be ok. At least we know where he is now, we can look after him. It's all going to be okay".

When Kirsten's tears had subsided and the pair had parted, they both walked in silence to the car outside. When they were moving Sandy called Seth's phone to no response, he left a message, telling Seth to call him back as soon as possible, he didn't say anything about Ryan, he wanted to talk to Seth in person for that. Seth had sailed over to Portland for the holidays, Luke had asked him to come visit after hearing the news of Marissa's death, with Ryan not around Seth had been lonely and accepted the invitation.

Neither Sandy nor Kirsten spoke for the rest of the car trip, both lost in their thoughts, both hoping, both praying, that Ryan would be ok.

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On the other side of the country Summer lay in bed with her eyes closed, it was approaching 2 am and she still couldn't sleep. She sat up in bed and looked around the room, at the save the whales, save the rain forest, Greenpeace and assorted posters that covered her bedroom from floor to ceiling. Deep down inside she knew what it all meant, she knew why she was trying to save the earth, she knew why she busied about herself, filling her mind with anything but the thoughts that she dreaded.

Lying back down again she looked at the phone on her desk and instantly thought of Seth. Ever since the accident they'd barely spoken, oh she'd cried into his arms when she heard the news, hugged his skinny frame and wept for the best friend she'd ever had, for the friend she'd had for more than 10 years. But after the accident, she flown as far away as possible, distanced herself from Newport as much as she possibly could, even thinking about it made her hurt so bad she couldn't see straight. Moving to the side of her bed she reached down behind the desk beside her and grabbed at a small flask hidden behind the desk's wooden framed, she unclasped the lid and pulled it up to her mouth, just as she was about to take a swig her phone started rattling on the desk next to her. Scared that it was Seth she ignored the phone, simply moving it off the desk onto the floor so the silent ringing would rattle anymore. At the same time she drank long and deep from the flask, it was vodka and it was straight but it was one of the only things that helped clear her mind for the time being.

She placed the flask back behind the wall and laid back in bed, she felt at ease now, ready to go back to sleep. As she closed her eyes she heard the phone again, now knocking into the bottom of her bed frame. Still ringing it had moved it's way from where she had put it to the side of the bed, crawling across the carpet with each pulse. Frustrated she reached down and picked the phone up, flipping it open so she could see the caller ID. She was confused for a moment as 'Sandy Cohen' came up on the screen, before she moved out of bed, donned a dressing gown and walked out into the hall.

"Hello?" Summer answered into the phone.

"Hi Summer, it's Sandy."

Summer thought it was abit weird for Sandy to be calling her and was already on guard, he would only call (especially at this time of night) if it was important.

"I'm sorry to wake you up but somethings happened, I know you've got a lot on your plate right now so I don't want you to worry but I thought you should know."

Summer's insides panged with each word that came out of Sandy's mouth, what could it possibly be now? Was Marissa's death not enough? What else could possibly of happened..."

"It's Ryan, he's had an accident," Sandy said quietly. "He's at the hospital right now, he's unconscious but the doctor's say that he'll be okay."

Summer didn't speak for a long time, her knuckles began to grow white as she gripped the phone against her ear. Already her mind was breaking down all the barriers it had put up since Marissa's death, she could feel the wave of depression sweeping over her. She longed desperately for the flask behind her desk.

"I... do you want me to come home?" She said softly.

"No, no, it's okay." Sandy cooed back, "I'm sure he'll be ok, I don't want you to worry ok. I just thought that you should know."

Summer slowly closed the phone shut and stood in the hallway with her phone in one hand, her other against the wall supporting herself. Ryan was the one person who was always stable, he was the one that would still be standing, still be calm when everyone else was distraught. No matter what happened, to any of them, Ryan would always be there for them. But lately even he had broken, he didn't even turn up to Marissa's funeral for god's sake. Summer didn't know where he was, she didn't even know what had happened to him, she didn't care, Ryan would always be there for her, for Seth, for Marissa. And now she was going to be there for him. Tears falling down her face she walked back into her room and began to stuff clothing into a dufflebag. She threw on some clothes and grabbed the small flask behind the desk, some money and her phone. She wrote a quick note to Amber, to cover for her in classes and let her friends know where she went. She dialed a number for a cab as she walked down the hall...


	2. The Only One

Ryan groggily opened his eyes, he didn't hurt, there was no pain, but he wasn't where he was supposed to be. He wasn't in the alley anymore, he wasn't in a hospital, he wasn't at home with the Cohen's, he was driving his new car. Confused Ryan looked around himself, Marissa was next to him, smiling into his eyes as she happily chatted away about her trip. About how what she really needed right now was to get away from Newport, spend some time with her Dad, it would be a great experience before she thought about college. She couldn't wait.

Ryan tried to speak, to warn her about what was going to happen, he desperately tried to move his hands, trying to pull the vehicle over to the side of the road. His eyes widened as he looked in the rear view vision mirror, he saw Volchok's car speeding towards them, he knew what was going to happen but he couldn't do anything. He screamed as loud as he could but nothing came out, pain ripped through his arms as he tried as hard as he could to move them, but there was no response. Before he knew it Volchok's car was on them, slamming into the side of his car. He could hear Marissa screaming, he could hear Volchok's girlfriend screaming, he could even hear himself screaming and yet he could do nothing. As the seconds ticked by and the moment came closer Ryan began to weep, it was bad enough the first time, but to have her sitting next to him, to see her die again...

As the car rolled down the hill Ryan felt no pain, he didn't move, he just stared as she was thrown around the car, as her head was rammed into the dash, the seats, the windows. As the once perfect, beautiful face was transformed, as she was dying Ryan was focused on her, willing her to live, to stay.

He pulled her from the car, he lifted her in his arms, he walked from the car down the road. With each step he felt her drifting further and further away from him, he could see her mind shutting down, her body giving up and there was still nothing that Ryan could do...

As he lay her down on the road and she breathed her last breaths, Ryan looked into her eyes and whispered, "You're the love of my life Marissa, never forgot". As her hands went limp and her eyes closed Ryan's mind screamed, he wanted to hurt Volchok, he wanted to KILL Volchok, but still Ryan could do nothing...

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Ryan awoke with a start and sat bolt upright in his bed, he was wet with sweat and his body screamed with pain. He could hear a soothing voice, telling him it was okay, that he needed to lie down. As he responded and his eyes began to close he could see a bob of brown hair, brown eyes, a concerned face and then he was asleep again.

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When Ryan opened his eyes again he has been teleported to another place, to another time. He was back in Sandy's car, almost three years younger, he had seen this scene before, he knew what was happening. He was going home, back to his house in Chino. He turned around and looked out the back of the car and there she was. Marissa stood watching him as the car moved down the court, the sun was setting behind her and she stood staring at the boy she'd only met one day previous, curious as to why he was returning back to Chino. Everything seemed as it had more then 3 years ago, but then something different happened. Marissa's lips began to move and he could hear her words, even through the car's rear windscreen and more than a 100 meters each letter that escaped her mouth was as clear as day. "Ryan.. This is my final goodbye.. I love you... I will always love you...", and then he and Sandy were round the corner and he couldn't see her anymore. They were driving away from Newport, they were going back to Chino.

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Ryan felt a hand on his face, he felt the back of a hand running down the side of his cheek, the small hand ran over bruises and cuts but Ryan didn't care, it was soothing, warm and calming. In his mind Ryan saw Marissa, it had all been a bad dream, she had never died, she was here with him right now. He could be happy again...

When Ryan opened his eyes the hand retreated with a start and the blurred figure moved back sharply from his bedside. He slurred out to the figure, "Mariss... Marissa... is that... is that you...?". And then two more figures came into the room and ran over to his bedside, he saw blonde and brown hair, a man and a women. As his eyes began to focus and the haze began to clear he could see Sandy and Kirsten's faces. They were both beaming down at him, relief etched into their features. "I'm sorry.. so so sorry..", Ryan said weakly to them. Kirsten reached down and wrapped her arms around Ryan's upper body and hugged him as tighly as she could without hurting him, at the same time Sandy put his hand onto Ryan's shoulders and looked into his eyes, "It's okay Ryan, we understand, just don't ever do it again", calmly said to Ryan.

As time passed the strength slowly returned to Ryan, he was able to sit up in his bed now and as soon as he did he was able to look around the rest of the room. On the other side of the room, sitting in a chair and gaping at him with frightened eyes was Summer. "Summer's been with you almost every second since she got here, she flew straight from Brown when she heard the news, she even refused to go home and get changed", Kirsten said to Ryan.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, " Summer said softly from the other side of the room.

Ryan's eyes met Summer's as he thought back to the hand that had been touching his face, it hadn't been Marissa, it had been... And then Summer's eyes darted around the room and their gaze was broken, Ryan turned back to Kirsten and Sandy, "Where's Seth?" he asked them.

"When you... left... well Seth got very bored and very lonely." Sandy explained.

"What about the comic book store, his entourage?"

"Well Ryan," Kirsten began. "There's a big difference between people who follow you around because they think you're the coolest comic book geek ever and spending quality time with your brother."

"He's gone to Portland, I haven't been able to get in contact with him yet," Sandy said. "He's gone to see Luke if you can believe it, Luke asked him to come over and visit after he got the um.. the news."

"So he hasn't heard yet? You know.. about the accident?"

"We left him a message on his phone.. but that was almost two days ago and he hasn't returned my call. I haven't been able to get in contact with Luke's Dad either. I'm not quite sure what's going on right now."

"But don't you worry about that right now Ryan," Kirsten said to him quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"My arms are a little sore, but I've been worse. When I can leave?"

"Not so quick Ryan. You're a long way from leaving, first we need to prove to the staff here that this sort of thing will never happen again to stop them from sending you to some form of rehab. And then the police want to ask you some questions about the cuts and bruises all your face and arms and how you got them."

Ryan's eyes turned away from Sandy and Kirsten and he lay back down, he was embarrassed, he was ashamed. He wasn't ready to deal with all this shit right now.

"I think.. if you don't mind me saying.. That we should leave this for a little later, he's only just woken up and he probably needs some time to think, to be alone," Summer said from across the room.

"You know Summer," Sandy replied. "I don't think that's such a terrible idea. This way we all get time to go home and recharge and come back refreshed tomorrow morning, ready to face the doctors and perhaps the police."

"In the morning then, we'll let the nurses know that you've woken and they'll probably be in and busying themselves about you shortly," Kirsten said as she stood up form the side of Ryan's bed. She hugged him one more time before they turned for the door and made to walk out. As Sandy held the door open Kirsten turned around and spoke to Ryan, "We love you Ryan. You know that".

"I know Kirsten."

With what seemed like renewed energy Sandy and Kirsten walked out of the room. Summer followed close behind and gave Ryan an awkward wave before she too left the room.

Alone again Ryan began to wonder what exactly he was going to say, not only to the hospital staff but to the police. The cuts and bruises were from Ryan's new hobby, cage fighting at the bar where he was currently staying. He wasn't going to say this though, he wasn't going to give up the people who worked there, he would say that he was drunk and got in a fight, it got a little out of hand and now here is. As for the Heroin, well he didn't know the name and couldn't even remember the face of the guy who he bought it off. He had deliberately said "More than enough, you understand?", the man had replied with a nod and the money was exchanged. Of course Ryan would never mention this.. He would say that he was looking for an exit from the pain, something to fight the depression that was attacking him from every angle, that he didn't mean to overdose, that he didn't mean to kill himself. Even if it wasn't true...

Ryan's thoughts were invaded when the door to his room opened once more. He didn't bother turning over to see who it was, he just assumed it was one of the nurses coming to check up on him. Inject him with more drugs and change his bandages.

"So you think you can just go and kill yourself huh. You think that everyone else isn't feeling as crap as you are.", a voice called over Ryan's shoulder. As Ryan moved his body around he looked up into Summer's tear stained face, looking down at him she began to yell "YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GO AND GET YOURSELF KILLED. WHAT ABOUT US RYAN, WHAT ABOUT ME AND SETH, DONT YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT US, YOU THINK WE'RE NOT HURTING, THAT WE DON'T NEED YOU TOO". Summer began to cry even harder now, tears flowing from her eyes, staining the clothes she was wearing and accumulating on the hospital floor. Ryan could do nothing but stop and stare at her, he couldn't even speak. All this time he had only been thinking of himself, about how he had felt, he had totally forgotten about Marissa's best friend and how she might feel... he had been so selfish...

Summer collapsed into a chair at the back of the room and continued to sob into her hands, "It's been so hard for me Ryan. And now to be here with you, seeing you give up. I can't take it Ryan, it's just too much, I need you to be okay Ryan", she cried into her fists.

As Summer buried her face in her hands and wept Ryan reached down for the cords leading into his arms and pulled out the needles attached to them, he shuffled to the side of the bed and lifted his legs over its cover. Planting his feet on the group he pushed himself up from the bed and began to stand, he instantly felt dizzy and his head felt light. He swayed in the air as he began to fall... But then he was taking a step, he was moving forward, forward towards the crouching figure infront of him. He needed to get to Summer, to tell her that everything would be okay, that he was sorry and he did care about her and he would help her take the pain away...

But then Ryan was falling, his legs were collapsing beneath him and his body was travelling towards the floor. She was too far away, he wouldn't be able to make it...

When Ryan hit the floor Summer instantly jumped from her seat and ran the few steps towards him and crouched down. "Ryan. Ryan are you okay? What were you doing?" Summer called down to him.

"I.. I was coming to tell you that everything was going to be okay.. I was coming to tell you that I do care.. and mostly I was coming to tell you that I understand.. We're both stuck with this terrible pain, with this terrible lose.. I know Summer, I know how you feel and yet still I totally ignored it.. I'm sorry Summer... I'm hear for you now..", he whispered back. Ryan was tired, very tired, each word that escaped from his lips drained the energy from him. He knew that he couldn't stand back up, he couldn't even move...

Summer reached around to Ryan's back and hugged him "Thank you Ryan Atwood", she said into his shoulder as he hugged him tightly. As Ryan's eyes began to close Summer reached up behind him and hit the button to call the Nurse.

"You're the only one who could possibly understand how I feel Ryan", she said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "The only one".


	3. The Missing Son

Sandy was calling Portland for the last time that night. He'd already left two messages on Seth's phone that day and this was the attempt he would make at contacting Seth before he and Kirsten went to bed. He was about to give up hope when the receiver on the other end was hastily picked up. "Hello?", a familiar voice queried on the other end of the line.

Sandy recognized the voice, "Hi Luke, Sandy Cohen here. Do you people over in Portland not use telephones? It's a wonderful new invention, allows two people to have a conversation from thousands of miles away simultaneously. Absolutely mind blowing."

"Heh, hey Mr C. Me and Pop just got back from a fishing trip, been out the last 3 days. Lucky you called when you did, we've only just finished putting the boat away"

"You mean Seth's not there?" Sandy said suprised.

"Seth hasn't been in Portland for over a week Mr C."

"Where is he then?"

"... ah... I kind of figured he would of spoken to you guys before he left."

"You mean he's on his way back to Newport?"

"Not exactly."

"Where exactly is he Luke."

"Seth's kind of gone to France."

"Wait, wait, what?"

"Well you see, about a week ago we got this call right. From some chick called Taylor who's in France right, I like nearly hung up on the bird cause I don't even know this Taylor chick. But Seth was all like 'no no no it's friend from school' so I just handed the phone over right. Next thing I know he's talking about how he's gotta fly to Paris and that Taylor's getting married and then he's thanking us for letting him stay and then he's out the door. That was like 7 days ago, haven't spoken to him since."

Sandy stood holding the phone for a few seconds. It was a case of shock an awe, Sandy was shocked that Seth had suddenly flown to another country at the whim of some girl he'd only met the past year and in awe that Seth even had the guts to fly to another country by himself.

"You still there Mr C?" Luke asked into the phone.

"Yes I'm still here Luke. Did Seth leave a phone number or anything so that we can track him down?"

"I wrote down the number that the chick called from, wait a second I'll just go grab it."

"Thanks Luke."

"Alright, I got it here. 555-65894 and don't forget to enter the country code for France."

Sandy paused for a moment as he wrote down the number and they recitied the number back into the phone.

"Yeah, that's right." Luke responded as Sandy read out the number.

"Thanks a lot Luke. And how are you coping, with the news and all?"

"Yeah I'm getting there, my Dad's been really supportive and it was nice of Seth to visit, sorry to ruin your evening with the whole France thing. Oh and before I forget Sandy, Seth left his mobile phone here as well. I was going to mail it to you guys when I got back, seeing as I didn't have an address of where he was going."

"Perfect", replied Sandy before he ended the call with Luke.

Afterwards Sandy reached for the phone book and looked up the country code for France and drummed in the number that Luke had given him. The phone rang three times before it was picked up, "Bonjour", a male's voice responded into the phone.

"This is Sandy Cohen here, I'm looking for my son Seth Cohen, a friend of his made a phone call from this number some time ago. And I'm told that he's gone to France to visit this friend.", Sandy said.

"You mean, friend of Taylor?" the man replied in heavily accented English.

"Yes that's right, have you seen him by any chance?"

"Taylor has left me, left me for America", the man answered into the phone.

"So you're the her husband then."

"Oui I have Taylor's hand in marriage"

"Well look, I'm going to leave you with my number. And if you see either of them, please give me a call back, we're happy to cover any of the charges."

"Oui monsieur."

"Au revoir." Sandy replied, before ending the call.

Rubbing his temples Sandy walked upstairs to the bedroom. When her entered the room Kirsten only had to look once at the concerned look on Sandy's face to know that something was wrong. "What is it?" she asked him as he sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Our son, if you can believe it. Is in France."

"As in Europe France?"

"As in Europe France."

"And what exactly is he doing there?" Kirsten asked Sandy with concern.

"Apparently Taylor's managed to get herself married to a young Frenchman and now she's run off. I'm assuming Seth's gone over there on some crusade of friendship on her request."

"That sounds more like something Ryan would do", Kirsten said.

"I spoke to Luke and he said Seth's gone, leaving his phone behind. And Taylor's ah.. husband... said that she'd left him."

"What are we going to do Sandy?"

"For the moment we're going to go to sleep and in the morning we're going to see Ryan." he called back to her, pulling off his socks and shirt and moving onto the bed. "There's nothing we can do about it right now and we've raised Seth well, he'll call sooner or later. It'll all sort itself out, but for now I'm exhausted."

"It's been a stressful few days," Kirsten replied, as she rested her head on Sandy's chest.

"Well you know," Sandy said with his arm around Kirsten, gazing down into her eyes. "I might know of a method or two for relieving stress." He leaned in and kissed her softly before he flicked off the lights.

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"UNO!" Summer yelled, throwing her card down on the bed.

"Well, I am _letting_ you win", Ryan teased at her.

"Oh you so aren't Atwood", Summer retorted throwing him a look of disgust, "Someone's crap and can't hack it!".

Ryan let out a small laugh and began to smile back at her, "One more game".

When the Nurse had walked into Ryan's room and saw him lying on the floor she nearly kicked Summer out of the hospital. It had taken some severe pleading from Summer and Ryan's requests for her to allowed to stay. Even still she had received the sternest of lectures and was told that 'should something like this happen again your visiting rights will be revoked' before the Nurse left the room. Afterwards Summer and Ryan had spent the remainder of visiting hours talking, talking to one another about what they had been doing for the last 5 months. Ryan had not seen Summer much after the accident and knew nothing of Brown, Che or the environmentalist Summer had turned into to. Likewise Summer knew nothing of where Ryan had gone, what he had done and what happened. And most importantly, neither knew nothing of how the other was feeling.

As the clock ticked closer to the end of visiting hours and the Nurses began shooing patients away, Ryan had asked Summer something very suprising. "Do you mind.. maybe staying with me tonight?" he had questioned her.. When Summer had looked into Ryan's eyes lonliness stared back, pleading her to stay "Of course I will," she had said cheerfully. "But we'll have to find somewhere for me hide."

When the Nurse returned to Ryan's room later that night to say goodnight and administer his last injection she hadn't noticed that the door to Ryan's wardrobe was swaying slight ajar.

And now here they were, past midnight, Ryan lying and Summer sitting playing Uno, smiling and laughing (as quietly as possible) like they hadn't in months. It was like something out of a dream, they were long lost friends parted for too many years, meeting up again for the first time. There was so much to be said, many laughs to be had, memories and stories to share.

So far the conversation had been warm and semi serious, throughout the night Summer had been gradually building up the courage to push the conversation towards more serious matters. As the last game was drawing to a close she chose her moment to open up to Ryan. "I thought about it you know," she began, placing another of her cards on the pile. "Like, I borrowed some of Julie's anti depressants, well actually I kind of stole them. But it was... nice... feeling neutral, not being at the wim of your emotions."

Ryan's gaze dropped downwards as the smile that had been on his face minutes ago faded away and was replaced by the stoic expression he had worn for the last few months. "Physical pain.. it doesn't really bother me ya know", he raised his head back up as he spoke and looked at Summer, "to tell you the truth, most of the time emotional pain doesn't really bother me either. I got pretty used to it living with my Mum and brother I guess."

Summer smiled at him warmly and patted his arm as his gaze dropped back down again, urging him to open up.

"It's just", Ryan started. "When I came to Newport I was no one you know, I didn't have a future in Chino. Without Sandy I would of ended up in Juvy and then... without Marissa... well she was my everything." he continued. With each sentence the volume of his voice dropped and his words were almost inaudible, "It's just, without her. Am I still something? Do I even want to be something anymore?"

"You know after Seth became like, my official boyfriend. Most of my friends didn't even wanna know me anymore, like I knew that he was unpopular and stuff but they were supposed to be friends. I mean Marissa has a drug overdose, shoots Trey and she's still the most popular girl in school. But I date Seth and everyone hates me, well everyone except Marissa anyway. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what I ever did, she was always going to be there for me. Marissa wasn't just my best friend, she's the sister I never had and in some ways the Mother I never knew."

"I was the first person she confided in about her problems, the first person she'd come to for help, in many ways we were closer to one another than we are and were with our parents. And it's not just that either, I've changed so much in the last few years, from rich bitch to wonder woman to environmentalist and I always felt the most at home, the most like myself when I was with her."

Summer reached out for the bottom of Ryan's chin and pushed it up so that he was looking into her eyes, "I can relate to how you feel, like you don't know who you are anymore," she whispered as she held his gaze. "And.. well it feels really shitty to know that she's never going to be around, to listen to me, to speak to me, to be my best friend, to make me feel like myself anymore," tears leaked out of Summer's eyes as she let out some of the pain that had been building the last couple of weeks.

"But I've tried to be brave," she continued, "I've gone to college and I've tried to make a difference. And in some ways I've made mistakes, I've avoided Seth, I haven't returned his calls. Not because I don't care about him. It's just, Seth doesnt really understand how I, how _we_ feel and being with him, being in Newport it just makes me think of her and everything that I'm missing now that she's gone."

"And when you're around me?" Ryan asked her.

"This is the first time i've really spoken to anyone about it, not with Seth, even my Dad. And it feels good to have someone listen, to absorb what you say and truely relate to it. I know you're not much of a talker and that's okay, just being here is enough."

"Well in truth you came to me remember", Ryan said. "I wasn't strong enough to see past my self pity and think of those around me."

"Oh Ryan, don't be like that", Summer said to him through a haze of tears. "As close as Coop and I were, you guys shared something beyond our friendship. I know how much you loved her, I can see that she gave you more than anyone else in your life and how she's changed and turned you into the man you are now."

"That thing that scares me the most is the what if's? What if the policman never found me, what if I had of died?. Knowing everything I know now I don't want to die, as much as I love her, as much as I miss her. She would want me to continue on with my life, to take care of you and Seth, to take care of everyone."

"And she would of wanted me to be happy", Summer added. "She would of wanted me to live my life with.. or without her."

Ryan laid back down in his bed suddenly feeling very tired and also very at peace. Summer took the hint and shifted off his bed, moving down onto her makeshift bed of cushion and blankets from the wardrobe on the hospital floor. She could hear Ryan moving about and then his face popped out from above her.

"Are you sure that's going to be ok?" Ryan asked her.

"Don't worry, I've slept in worse believe me."

"I don't believe you".

"Have you ever tried a 24 hour tree watch Ryan," Summer retorted sarcastically.

"Well no, I can't say I have."

"Well trust me, this is paradise compared to that."

"Oh.. I was just going to say that.. you know... there's probably enough room up here for both of us.. if you don't think that's too weird"... Ryan said, "Just throwing it out there if you're interested".

"No you're right, it would be too weird."

"Yeah, you're right," Ryan replied, sounding dissapointed.

They both lay back in there respective beds and lost themselves in their thoughts, in everything they'd talked about tonight and how it affected each of them. Thinking about it all, without being able to talk to each other, they both began to feel very lonely and vulnerable. It wasn't long before Summer poked her face over the side of Ryan's bed. "Is that offer still on the table?" Summer asked hesistantly.

"Only if you promise not to steal the blanket," Ryan said with a smirk.

"Wow, a Ryan joke. They're about as common as they are funny."

Summer climbed up and joined him on the hospital bed. "I bought more blankets", she said to Ryan as he shuffled over to the other side. They managed to set themselves up, so that they both had enough room to sleep and the distance between them was broken by a length of blanket, that way there bodies wouldn't be touching to prevent any awkwardness and they could both sleep in relative comfort. However neither of them actually slept, both thinking of the person on the other side of the bed with whom they suddenly felt so connected.


	4. The Verdict

Hey everyone, thanks a lot for the reviews so far, it means a lot to know that not only are people reading your work, but enjoying it too. That being said I would also love it if people could leave more comments regarding my work and any constructive criticism or ideas for how I could improve my writing or the story. I appreciate that not everyone is a Ryan and Summer fan and that's fair enough, but comments like "you're sick" aren't very nice. :(

These relationships are what I'm working with right now and it is subject to change, I don't know whats going to happen down the track, I'm still formulating ideas and concepts for the story.

Once again thanks a lot for your reviews and keep them coming! Any further suggestions, criticisms or praise is more than welcome. And any other writers out there can refer me to their work, which I will read and comment on. I love OC Fan fiction, this is why I write it and this is why I read it.

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Ryan felt bare skin rubbing against his cheek, a nose nudging the side of his face. He opened his eyes a fraction, two bright blues pupils revealed themselves through a backdrop of skin, as his eyes began to focus he could see her before him. The blanket that had divided them had all but gone, she was there, mere inches away from him. He was tempted to pull away, to unhook himself from her arms entwined around his waist, but Ryan didn't want to wake her, he didn't want to part from her. He felt strangely at home, strangely comfortable next to this girl with whom before today, he had rarely had physical contact.

Summer's eyes began to open, fluttering like the wings of a newborn butterfly. As she came to her senses she immediately pulled away, shifting over to the other side of the bed and moving her arms back to her chest, she flushed red as she saw that Ryan was looking at her. "Sorry", she muttered to Ryan, "I'm just so used to sleeping with Seth or my teddy bears". She quickly turned around, hiding her now crimson face from Ryan's eyes.

Ryan smiled.

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The next time Ryan opened his eyes she was gone. He sat up in the hospital bed and looked around the room, the blankets and pillows from the night before were gone, placed back in the cupboard by Summer before she had fled. Minutes later a Nurse came in to see Ryan, "feeling better?" She asked as she began poking about at the bandages on his arms and face.

"Much better", Ryan replied to the Nurse before lying back down.

"Your family's on the way over, they called the hospital earlier. You should have a shower and get changed before they get here."

Ryan took the hint and jumped out of the bed after she was done. There was already a change of clothes waiting for him in the bathroom. He showered quickly and changed, feeling refreshed and renewed, a far cry from the drug infected corpse he had been three days earlier.

As he returned back to his bed he heard voices outside the room, it sounded like Sandy and Kirsten were talking to one of the Doctors. Ryan moved towards the doorway and opened it slightly ajar, enough to hear what was being said without alerting them to his presence.

"This is a very serious matter, we have every right to hold him here until we can be certain that this wont happen again," a concerned voice stated.

"I understand," Ryan could hear Sandy say. "Keep in mind that Ryan's had no previous drug convictions or suicidal behaviour, when he's released he'll be put under twenty-four house surveillance. He'll be booked into a Psychiatrist and Kirsten and I will make sure he attends every meeting he's scheduled for. Remember, we care about him just as much as you do, we will do everything in our power to make sure something like this never happens again."

"And if that isn't enough?"

"Then you'll be the first person we call."

"Fair enough. I want to run a few more blood tests and he'll need to speak with the hospital psychiatrist, if she gives him the go ahead. He can go home this afternoon."

Hearing footsteps Ryan quickly climbed back into his hospital bed.

"You looked much better," Sandy commented as he took a seat on the far side of the room.

"Handsome as ever," Kirsten added smiling as she sat down on the side of his bed, "so how are you feeling?"

Ryan gave them a weak smile, a promising sign for him. "I'm here and alive and that's what important. I won't forget that."

"We know that Ryan," Kirsten said as she hugged him.

"Now you just need to convince the hospital's shrink that it's the truth," Sandy joked.

"Well that shouldn't be too hard, I am the son of a defence attorney."

"Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?" Sandy feigned hurt.

"You got me off the hook didn't you."

Sandy laughed as he walked over to the side of the bed and ruffled Ryan's hair. "The shrinks going to see you in a minute, then we need to talk," Sandy's tone had turned serious and Ryan could feel the shift in conversation.

"Alright," he replied.

As Kirsten and Sandy left the room a new Doctor entered.

"Ryan Atwood... Chino, correct?" she asked, looking down her nose at Ryan.

"Yes, that's right."

"Mmmn, hmmm," she said as she wrote something down on her clipboard. "So, and do feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. You grew up with an alcoholic mother, multiple husbands, 1 sibling, older brother." She raised her eyebrows at Ryan with each question, he merely nodded back at her, she continued to write on her clipboard. "You came to Newport where the Cohen's made you their legal guardians and later adopted son after attempting to steal a car with your brother." Again Ryan nodded. "Since arriving in Newport you've burned down a house. You were present at Marissa's attempted suicide. You prevented another man, Oliver's attempted suicide. You were involved in the shooting of your brother, multiple fights, including with the Harbour Dean of Discipline. You helped stage an intervention to send Kirsten Cohen to drug rehabilitation. You've been kicked out of school and reinstated and you were present at Johnny Harper's and Marissa Cooper's deaths. In this all accurate?"

"You've forgot to mention that I left Newport for Chino briefly when my ex-girlfriend became pregnant with my child, which we lost to a miscarriage. Other than that, it's all true." Each mention of her name stung him to the very core, but he needed to remain calm, it was the only way he could prove to her that it was an accident. That he wouldn't do it again.

"Add to that an attempted suicide and you've got yourself a very long list of emotional issues, issues I believe have remained largely unresolved. I cannot even begin to comprehend how someone can go through all that without emotional scaring and that is why I can't let you go home Ryan. These wounds need to heal Ryan and I don't believe you can do that in Newport, or Chino."

"With all due respect Doctor.. ?"

"Garcia."

"With all due respect Doctor Garcia, without the Cohen's I would be in allot worse shape than I am right now. It is only with them that I can get better, please let me go home, I promise I will do anything you ask. Sessions, meetings, prescription drugs, hell I'll even go to Church, I just want to go home."

"I'm sorry Ryan, but I can't on good conscience let that happen. I'm recommending you be sent to Providence Psychiatrist Rehabilitation Centre, Rhode Island. I think a change of atmosphere and some time away from Newport, from Chino will be an excellent opportunity for you to do some self evaluation and allow yourself to heal. I've chosen Providence so you remain close to both Summer Roberts and your brother Seth Cohen who I believe will be studying this year at Brown and The Rhode Island School of Design respectively. I'm sorry Ryan but given the circumstances this is the best I can do."

"So that's it then? No appeal."

"I'm going to let you go home for a few days and let your wounds heal, Sandy and Kirsten will be watching you and I will implore them to call the Police or us should you attempt to leave the residence. In a weeks time you'll be set to arrive at the centre where as you will be admitted for a minimum period of two weeks. Which is subject to change based on your behaviour, you've had a terrible history Ryan and I truly believe that this is in your best interests."

Sandy and Kirsten were quick to see Ryan after Doctor Garcia had left. She had informed them both of her decision and the necessary steps they needed to take to ensure that Ryan remained at home and didn't attempt to hurt himself again. She would allow Ryan to return home as long as at least one of them remained with him at all times.

"Well, I didn't expect that." Sandy said as he entered the room.

Kirsten looked at Ryan warmly as he fiddled with one of the buttons of his clothing, "It won't be too bad Ryan, when I was in rehab the time flew by. Everyone is really nice and you can do pretty much whatever you want as long as you don't leave the grounds, it's almost like a holiday."

"At least I'll have Seth," Ryan said, still fiddling with his buttons.

"About that," Sandy began sitting down. Ryan was looking up now, concern etched in his features, he was still in the dark about where exactly Seth was. "Seth's gone to France of all places, Paris to be specific, Taylor managed to get herself married and he's gone to lend her a hand."

"He's taking a page out of your book," Kirsten said softly, hoping to ease Ryan's worried look.

"I don't see how being with complete strangers is going to make any of this easier," Ryan interjected, returning his gaze back down to his buttons.

"You'll have Summer with you," Sandy offered. "Did she come and see you this morning?"

Ryan shook his head without looking up, technically Summer had been there all morning, but he didn't know how Sandy and Kirsten would react to the news that he and Summer had shared a bed last night.

"I guess that's it then. Can I go home now?"

Ryan noticed Sandy and Kirsten exchanging worried looks out of the corner of his eyes.

"I won't leave again, I promise."

Sandy and Kirsten left the room as Ryan changed back into his clothing and gathered up the possessions he'd had on him when the police had found him.

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Meanwhile.

Summer fidgeted nervously in the living room of her house, she wouldn't take her gaze of her father's face, scared of catching a glimpse of one of the many photos of Marissa on the mantelpiece. She had felt so strong last night, so in control, ready to face her demon's. Ready to face Marissa. And now without Ryan by her side, without someone to talk to she was breaking, sweat began to drip down her forehead as her father continued on. When he asked why she didn't come home last night, she had explained about Ryan's accident and that she had stayed at a nearby hotel so she could see him in the morning before she went home. Her father had bought the story but still felt it was necessary to make sure that Summer wasn't contemplating suicide herself.

"Are you okay Summer?" Neil asked looking at her shaking hands.

"Yeah I'm fine Dad, just worried about Ryan. I might go visit him now actually," Summer replied jumping up and moving for the door. She needed to get out of here, it was too hard, it was too soon, she just needed time, she needed Ryan.

"Summer, Summer come back here. We need to talk," Neil called after her as she raced for the door.

"No time for talk Dad, people to save. Love you." Summer hastily replied as she closed the door behind herself.

She jumped into her old car, the one she had left behind when she left to Brown and began moving down the driveway. As she turned onto the street she could see Kaitlin waving at her from the other side of the road, Summer glanced in the other direction making sure not to look Kaitlin in the face. She couldn't deal with Kaitlin's face right now, it reminded her too much of her dead best friend.

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As he grabbed for his sneakers he noticed a small teddy bear placed inside his right shoe. The bear has a huge smile on it's face and ribbons attached to its paws. There was also an accompanying card.

'Dear Ryan. Get well soon, or there will be consequences. love Summer xoxo'

Ryan laughed softly, a typical Summer card, bossy as always. He read it aloud to himself a few times before placing it into his bag. With another glance around the room, he joined Kirsten and Sandy in the corridor. When they got downstairs Ryan was checked out and given a number of pills to take in case of stomach cramps, head spins, pain in his arms and other problems. They said thank you to the Doctor who had treated him when we was brought in and walked to the Range Rover parked outside.

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"I'm sorry honey, you've just missed them," the receptionist said to Summer. "They left a few minutes ago, he's been released for the time being."

Summer was about to respond when the Receptionists face began to transform, Summer watched opened mouthed as the blond middle aged woman in front of her warped into Marissa Cooper. Summer turned frantically and rushed towards the hospital door, as she stumbled down the steps she noticed an elderly couple walking towards her. As they turned towards the hospital steps she saw their faces, 4 dead eyes stared back at her. She panicked spinning in circles from one face to another, every face was the same, Marissa's dead eyes stared back, and then they began to scream."SUM, SUMMER, HELP ME SUM, HELP ME PLEASE," the faces yelled at her, they screamed for her, screamed for her help. Summer felt like she was flying and then all went black.

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As they pulled out of the car pack Ryan stared idly out of the window, it was then that he noticed a small girl with dark brown hair coming down the hospital steps. She appeared confused, stumbling down the steps and reeling as each person passed her. When Ryan saw her face he yelled to Sandy to stop the car, unbuckling his seat belt he sprang from the car and ran to her.

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The first thing Summer saw when she opened her eyes was blue, then she saw blond hair and then she saw Ryan. She was lying down on the ground with Ryan crouching over her, there was a throng of people who had gathered nearby, whispering amongst themselves. She reached behind her head feeling for a bump or blood.

"He caught you before you hit the ground," Sandy said from across Summer's body. "You're lucky he spotted you from the car, we were just leaving."

Summer looked back into Ryan's face and he nodded down to her.

She got to her feet uneasily and walked a few steps. At first she felt dizzy, but it soon resided and she was okay to walk.

"I must have passed out," she murmured quietly.

"Do you need to see a doctor?" Kirsten asked her concerned.

"No, I think I'm okay now," Summer replied. "Is it okay if I come with you, I don't think I should drive."

"Of course," Kirsten said, smiling warmly at Summer.

As Sandy dealt with the crowd Ryan and Kirsten helped Summer over to the waiting Range Rover, after she was safely inside they all got in and began the long drive back to Newport.

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During the car ride Summer had asked Sandy and Kirsten if it was okay if she stayed with them for a few days. With Seth away they had agreed, not wanting Ryan to be without company, she was to stay in Seth's room for the time being. Summer had quickly called her Dad, who had allowed her to stay as long as she had a talk with him. She promised she would, but not today. Now Summer was asleep, exhausted after the ordeals of the past two days.

Kirsten and Sandy were talking quietly to one another in the front seat as they continued on towards Newport. Ryan was strangely quiet, even for him, he was reading the card Summer had given him once more. Love Summer it said, Love Summer.


	5. The Parisian Lover

Well, I've put it off for long enough, it's time to start writing about Seth. Comments and ideas appreciated!

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It had been a week since Seth had first set foot in France and he was still yet to see Taylor. Ever since his first encounter with Oliver (you know, before he turned into a psycho) Seth had always wanted to go to Paris, so he didn't exactly mind being left to his own devices. He had climbed the Eiffel Tower, fallen in love with the art of the Lourve, marvelled at the Cathedral of Notre Dam and admired the Arc de Triomphe. He had eaten at some of the most famous restaurants and wandered some of the more popular streets, even making a purchase and two. And now, with his credit card running dry Taylor had finally contacted him.

He was sitting at a small cafe on the banks of the River Seine, drinking a French press when he spotted a girl walking towards his table. She was wearing dark glasses and a large hat and scarf that hid many of the features of her face, however it was the way she walked that made her stand out. In Paris most people walked slowly, either in the arms of the one they love or simply admiring the sights and sounds that surrounded them. This girl however was walking quickly with purpose, seemingly unaware of all that was going on around her.

She sat herself quickly in the chair across the small table from Seth, looking around herself a few times before removing her glasses. As Seth had guessed when he first saw her, the face behind the glasses was that of Taylor.

"Thanks for coming Seth," she said sincerely to him across the table,

The first thing Seth noticed now that Taylor had removed her glasses was the sadness that shined from behind her eyes. Whatever the situation with her french husband, it was taking a toll on her happiness.

"Since I was 10 I've been looking for an excuse to see Paris, thousands of dollars aside I'm glad I'm here."

"It means a lot Seth, I really appreciate it. I would of called my Mum but you know what she's like." Taylor laughed uneasily at the mention of her mother.

"So, tell me again why you're married," Seth began, leaning over the table so he could face Taylor.

"My husband, Henri Michael, hes... hes a Frenchman. I guess that means nothing to you, but he's handsome, charming, smart and seductive. I was lonely, it was Paris, one thing led to another and before I knew it we were walking down the aisle. He's a nice enough guy, lt's just that I don't exactly love him and I don't want to spend the rest of my life living in Paris as his trophy wife or his maid." She looked into Seth's eyes as water began to form at the edges of hers, "I don't know what to do Seth."

"Well, the first idea that comes to mind is faking your own death, but I have sinking feeling that's not as easy as it seems in the movies. If you don't like that idea I could sneak into your house and kidnap you, I'd be in and out before they know what hit them. I'm very stealth."

"This is serious Seth."

"I don't understand why you don't just get a divorce."

"It isn't that simple Seth. You can't get a divorce in France without mutual agreement unless one of you has been unfaithful. I've already asked him," Taylor snapped back, clearly frustrated.

"So pay someone to pretend to be your new boyfriend, make him believe that you've been unfaithful."

"Well, now that mention it." Taylor was looking at Seth with eager eyes, he didn't like where this was going.

"No Taylor, no way, I'm not doing it. I don't work well under pressure and if Summer found out I was prancing about Paris pretending to be your new lover rage blackouts would be the least of my problems. It's been hard enough trying to patch things up after Marissa's death, this would be the end of us. There's plenty of other handsome men around who would be happy to help you out."

The light that had shone from Taylor's eyes began to extinguish itself, replaced only by the sadness he had seen in them earlier. Pools of water began to form at the corner of her eyes once more.

"Seth I called you because you're the only friend I have left, Summer and I have barely spoken since Marissa died, my Mum practically hates me and even cut off my credit card. As much as I would like to pay an actor to help me out I don't have any money left. You're my only hope Seth."

Seth was out of his depth and he knew it, he didn't know what he had expected when he had flown to France, but now that he has here and Taylor's problem was real he didn't know what to do. He desperately wished that Ryan was here with his words of wisdom and quick action...

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It was almost midnight and Ryan was lying in his bed staring at the ceiling. Since arriving home from the hospital Ryan had spent most of his time sitting in the pool house. He hadn't been inside since he got home, even opting to eat dinner in the pool house. Everything was moving so fast, too fast, and he needed time to think, he needed time to _brood_.

He thought about his attempted suicide, he thought about the cage fighting, he thought about Marissa, he thought about Seth and he thought about Summer. Summer, he had spied her eating dinner with Kirsten and Sandy as he had sat on the floor and ate his own in silence. Always friends; Summer and he had never really been close, they were always hanging out but rarely spoke directly to one another. Ever since his arrival to Newport and Summer's infatuation with him there had always been an uneasy tension between them. As if Summer felt perpetually embarrassed for the way she had acted towards him.

And yet in the last twenty-four hours Ryan had never felt so close to someone, not since he and Marissa had been happy had he felt like someone else actually understood him.

Ryan's thoughts were interrupted as his mobile phone began to ring, he quickly scanned the clock '12:23' and then looked up at the Cohen house next to him, not surprisingly the light to Seth's room was still on.

He snatched up his phone and pressed the talk button, "Summer?" Ryan asked into the phone.

"Why would Summer be calling you?" Seth questioned back.

"Seth?" Ryan replied uneasily.

"Yeah it is. So why would Summer be calling you again?"

"You're calling from France?"

"Yeah I am, why did you think it was Summer man? Did she call for me?"

"Long story."

"Well, this payphone is going through my change like its Magneto but I can afford a short story."

"Summer called today... Looking for you... I told her to try again later tonight."

"Ryan that's not really a long story."

"It is for me."

"Wait you're in Newport?"

"Yeah, I came back today. Sandy and Kirsten had a talk with me and convinced me to come home."

"That's awesome news dude, I'm sorry I'm not there with you."

"So anyway, how's France?"

"The parentals know where I am?"

"Yeah, Sandy called Luke the other day and got the whole story. He and Kirsten are worried about you, said you haven't called them."

"Yeah I've been really busy, tell them I said I'm okay when you see them next."

"Will do. Have you seen Taylor yet?"

"Yeah I hooked up with her today, hooked up as in saw, not make out hooked up.." Seth was cut off as Taylor grabbed the phone and yelled into it, "Hi Ryan!"

Ryan laugh softly to himself as he listened to Seth wrestle the phone back from Taylor, "So Taylor called me because she got married to some french guy right."

"Yeah, Sandy told me about that."

"Well apparently in France you can only get a divorce if one of you has been unfaithful and Taylor wants me to pretend to be her lover or something. And putting aside for the moment the fact that like no one is going to believe I'm someones lover I'm also pretty worried that Summer will find out and I'll become just another victim of a rage blackout."

"She is a scary woman."

"She's like the hulk Ryan."

"Taylor's got no one else she can ask for help?"

"She says there's no one else."

"It's up to you man but assuming it doesn't go too far and you're not going to to get arrested for it I'd do it."

"Any advice for me on how to pretend to be someones Parisian lover."

"Get a haircut and a new wardrobe."

"You mean the Jew-fro doesn't make the grade."

The phone went dead before Ryan could reply, he figured Seth had run out of change and placed the phone back on the receiver. Lying down again he thought about what he'd said to Seth, he wanted to tell him about the overdose but he was ashamed of himself and he knew that Seth wouldn't really understand. Without telling Seth about the overdose he couldn't tell him about Summer either so that had to remain a secret, he knew it wasn't a good idea to hold off telling Seth. But he couldn't deal with it right now, he would get it all out in the open in a day or two. Hopefully before Sandy and Kirsten got in contact with him.

Ryan's thoughts were again interrupted by his phone, he grabbed it up off the receiver, "Seth?".

"Not quite," Summer whispered back at him.

"Shouldn't you be asleep Summer."

"Shouldn't you?"

"How do you know I wasn't sleeping," Ryan replied smiling.

"You answered in one ring Ryan."

"Maybe I have quick reflexes."

"Shut up Atwood."

"Yes maam," Ryan said into the phone still smiling. "So what's up?"

"Can't sleep."

"Me too."

"Mind if I come down?"

"Only if you grab me some cereal on your way."

Ryan heard the click of the phone being hung up and worried that he had upset Summer, he jumped up from his bed and walked over to the window looking up once more at Seth's room. The light had gone out and he figured Summer must of gone to bed angry. With resignation he walked back over towards his bed and fell down onto it, he thought it was a pretty harmless joke but knew that Summer was under a lot of stress. Just as he was about to reach over and turn off the light he heard a soft knocking at the pool house door. He tip-toed over and opened the door, revealing Summer and a bowl of cheerios.

"Hope you like Cheerios," Summer said, smiling broadly as she walked into the pool house.

"I can't believe you actually got me some cereal," Ryan replied, taking the bowl of cereal and sitting himself down. "I thought you'd hung up on me. You know, rage blackouts and all."

"Can I let you in on a secret Ryan," Summer said as she sat down in one of the chairs opposite Ryan's bed.

"I'm all ears," Ryan responded between mouthfuls.

"Rage blackouts are a little something I made up in order to keep Seth in line."

"Well I'm a little scared of you Summer, don't forget how angry you were with me at the hospital."

"Everyone gets angry sometimes."

"Summer, Seth calls you the hulk."

"I can't believe I'm getting patronized by Kid Chino, the master of pain who lets his fists do the talking."

"Would you like an introduction?"

"Is that a threat Ryan?"

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Ryan said to her, a smirk spreading across his face.

Summer grabbed a cushion up off one of the chairs next to her and threw it in Ryan's direction, it was a clear miss but had the intended affect. "Bring it on Atwood," Summer leered at him, grabbing up another cushion. Watching Summer out of the corner of his eye Ryan placed his bowl of Cheerios on the table next to him.

"You know I did cage fighting right?" Ryan warned jokingly.

"Oh please, those guys were nothing next to me."

Quick as lightning Ryan reached down and threw one of his pillow across the room at Summer... Only to be thwarted away by her own cushion.

"Not bad.." Ryan joked at her, "for a girl anyway."

Summer charged towards Ryan with her cushion above her head, attempting to hit down on him from above. This proved to be a very difficult task for Summer as Ryan was taller than her, so she jumped up on his bed to get a height difference over him, she began to beat down on his head as Ryan attempted to block the incoming blows with his arms. With one arm above him deflecting blows Ryan reached out with his other and pulled Summer's legs out from under her, before she knew what was happening she was falling down onto the bed below her. Ryan grabbed up a pillow from the side of his bed and started to hit down on Summer, making sure not to hit too hard.

"No fair!" Summer yelled through a barrage of feather. "You used your hands!"

"When did we ever say that wasn't allowed."

"Well in that case."

Summer reached out with her arms and grabbed Ryan's wrists pulling him towards her with surprising strength. Ryan was caught off guard and fell forward on top of Summer, momentarily disorientated Summer had time to grab up her own cushion and beat him over the head a few times before he reached up and pinned her arms to the bed. They were both laughing, neither realising that they were lying on top of one another.

When the laughter had receded and they became aware of just exactly what position they were in Ryan shifted off Summer and lay down on the bed beside her.

"There's only one way to solve this," Ryan said, not wishing to linger in the awkwardness of the situation.

"And how's that?" Summer asked back.

"PlayStation."

As Summer and Ryan sat down at the front of his bed and loaded up Soul Calibre, Taylor and Seth were having their own kind of fun.

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"This one is awesome!" Seth exclaimed clearly excited. He and Taylor had been trying out new suits for the past two hours to no avail. He was currently trying out a Saxony tweed jacket with checked shirt and navy blue pants and was certain he had found what they was looking for. That is until he saw Taylor's reaction to it.

"Seth you look like a Grandpa."

"Well I think it looks awesome," Seth mumbled to himself as he walked back to the change room.

Seth began to remove the jacket and pants and put on his normal clothing when Taylor yanked back the curtain to the change room. As the curtain went back Seth's arms clamped up over his chest and boxer shorts gasping at Taylor.

"Try this one on," Taylor said smiling, looking Seth over.

"Taylor you can't just rip open a man's change room when he's half naked, what if people see."

"You're right Seth, we wouldn't want people dying of a heart attack."

"Hey, I cut a very handsome figure."

"Bulging biceps, toned skin, abs of steel, you're the new Brad Pitt."

Seth pulled the curtain closed angrily cursing Taylor under his breath, for the 100th time since arriving in France he was questioning why exactly he came. His anger soon receded as he watched himself transform in front of the mirror. Where had once stood an skinny emo kid, there was a now a very mature, handsome man. The suit made all the right places look bigger and cut a far bulkier figure than he really was. Buttoning up the suit and shirt and turning around a few times Seth walked out of the room with a smile on his face.

"What about now?" he asked Taylor, smiling at her raised eyes.

"Now all you need is a haircut," she replied.

The smile was already fading from Seth's face.

Not his Jew-fro.


	6. The Pursuit

There's parts I really like about this chapter and parts I wonder about. Comments and Ideas appreciated! 

ps. I finished this chapter like two days ago but the FanFiction site has been having problems and I've only just been able to upload it. :S

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Ryan's dreams were interrupted as light poured across his face. Opening his eyes he could see that someone was pulling the pool houses blinds up.

"What are you doing?" Ryan groaned as he pulled the covers over his head.

"It's morning Ryan, rise and shine!" Summer yelled playfully as she jumped onto the bed next to him.

"What time is it?" Ryan asked her, pulling the covers higher.

"It's almost noon Ryan, get up!" Summer yelled once more, starting to jump up and down on his bed.

Ryan pulled back the covers, clearly annoyed. The previous night (and that morning) had been spent playing PlayStation, raiding the Cohen's fridge and talking to one another. Finally parting for bed as the sun was beginning to rise.

"Well are you going to let me get changed?" Ryan asked Summer, who continued to bounce on his bed.

"Isn't that what the bathroom's for?"

"Maybe I want to get changed out here?"

"And not shower? Eww!"

Ryan sighed to himself as he pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed. He had chosen to sleep in his shorts without a beater and as he walked towards his drawers he could feel Summer's eyes on his upper body.

"Long time since you've seen muscles?" Ryan joked at her.

"Ha ha Ryan," Summer replied sarcastically.

Ryan grabbed a beater, shirt, pants and boxers and threw them behind him onto his bed as he searched for his watch and wrist cuff. When he turned around Summer was looking at his choices.

"I don't like this shirt," Summer said to him.

"It's black, whats to like?"

"Well that's the problem isn't it."

"I happen to think I look good in black," Ryan said feigning hurt as he snatched his clothing out of her arms.. ""Now try and keep yourself amused for a few minutes," he called over his shoulder as he walked towards the bathroom.

Summer barely heard him, she was already sitting down in front of the PlayStation with Soul Calibre loaded. Ryan had easily defeated her every game last night and she needed practice, a lot of practice.

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The first thing Ryan noticed when he jumped out of the shower was that the TV was now off, he couldn't hear noise coming from it anymore. He figured Summer must have gone inside to have lunch or got bored and was doing something else, so when he walked out of the shower to see Julie Cooper sitting on his bed, well he was a little more than surprised.

"Julie.. What are you doing here?" Ryan asked her suspiciously.

"Have a seat Ryan," Julie responded.

"Wheres Summer gone?"

"Isn't it a little early to be moving on Ryan?"

"You of all people should know that I'll never 'move on','" Ryan responded angrily.

"You're right, I'm sorry to intrude. I just received some news today that I thought I should share with you."

"What is it."

"Volchok's whereabouts."

When Ryan heard the news he stopped in his tracks. For the past few months all he had wanted to do was find Volchok and ultimately, kill Volchok. After the accident he had done his best to hunt him down, he had gone to every one of Volchok's hideouts and hangouts, spoken to almost every one of Volchok's friends and ex-girlfriends, even asking Johnny's ex if she knew where he was. No one knew however, all claiming to have not seen since before the night Marissa died. This failure coupled with his on going depression over Marissa's death had been what had pushed him to suicide. But after the accident, after spending time with Sandy and Kirsten, spending time with Summer, well he hadn't really thought about it. He had still thought about Marissa, almost every second of every day, but Volchok had been the least of his worries, that is until now.

"Where."

"Mexico."

Ryan walked over to his cupboards and started throwing clothing into a bag as quickly as he could, he grabbed his wallet, keys and a steel rod off his desk and threw them into the bag too. He walked over to where Julie sat and picked up the vanilla folder she had laid on the bed next to her.

"Thank you," Ryan said to her before he walked out the door.

He walked around the back of the house taking refuge behind bushes and trees in case Kirsten was looking out the kitchen windows. When he got to the front of the house he pulled out his keys and jumped into his car, closing the door quietly and pushing the keys into the ignition.

"Where ya going?" Summer asked him through the window of his jeep. She had managed to spot Ryan walking across the yard from the kitchen and followed him quietly.

"Picking up some Chinese." Ryan snapped back at her.

"What's with the big bag?"

"There's a lot of Chinese."

"I know when you're lying Ryan."

"Really?" Ryan scoffed at her. "Cause I'm not so sure you know me at all."

He reached over and tried to pull the door closed with Summer holding it open.

"Let go Summer," Ryan said staring at her, his eyes filled with anger.

"No." Summer said, staring back at Ryan with an equal amount of force.

"Fine." Ryan said, keying the ignition and starting the car. He put the car into gear and started reversing up the driveway, fast.

Summer ran up the driveway with the car desperately trying to hold on and keep up, as Ryan skidded out onto the road she lost her balance and let go off the car, taking a tumble on the driveway cement. When she looked up Ryan was already speeding down the court and onto the main road. And then he was gone.

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Taylor and Seth were seated in a expensive cafe along the Champs-Élysées, known as the most beautiful avenue in the world. Seth's trademark curly hair had been tamed by a french hairdresser and was now worn straight and short, styled by Taylor before they left the hotel. If Ryan or Summer had of seen him now at first glance they would of mistook him for a totally different person, with his smart suit, cool dark aviators and new hair style he did look like a different person. And so when Henri Michael and his lawyer entered the crowded Cafe they didn't see Taylor and a skinny, roughly dressed 18 year old, but a suave 20 something year old that most ladies would swoon over.

They seated themselves across the table from Taylor and Seth, who were now holding hands openly on the table top.

"Bonjour," Henri Michael and his lawyer said to the pair.

"Bonjour," Taylor said back, as Seth calmly took off his glasses and smiled across the table.

"And who is this?" Henri Michael asked Taylor.

Seth reached his hand out across the table looking into the man's face "Seth Cohen," he said, shaking the man's hand.

Henri Michael looked back across the table at Taylor, "What is this? Why have you left me?"

Taylor avoided his eyes and replied quietly, "I do not wish to be married to you Henri Michael, I am not in love with you."

"And you love this man?"

"I love no one!" She replied with a strong voice.

"You have been unfaithful?" He asked her from across the table.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" She asked, looking with sadness into his eyes.

Henri Michael looked from one face to the other. He watched as Seth reached up and wrapped his left arm around Taylor's shoulders, reaching out and covering her right hand with his.

"You are happy?" He asked Taylor, sadness etched in his features.

"I am," she responded.

"Then it is over!"

With the last remark Henri Michael pushed back his chair and stood up, as he turned from the table and walked towards the exit Seth swore he could see tears falling from the face of the man. Seth began to realise that just because Taylor didn't love her husband, it didn't mean that he didn't love her. He now regarded the man with sympathy and sadness, where earlier he had compared him to a pervert, haplessly preying on Taylor. As he thought about this the lawyer pushed a series of forms across the table for Taylor and Seth to sign.

"For the divorce," the lawyer said across in French, Taylor nodded and signed what was needed, passing it to Seth when she was done. When it was finished the lawyer stood up and left the cafe, leaving the pair alone.

As soon as he was gone Taylor turned and buried her face in Seth's chest, tears falling from her eyes.

"Did you see his face Seth?" She cried into his chest, "He was so sad.."

Seth rubbed Taylor's back as she continued crying into his arms, at first it felt kind of weird holding Taylor in his arms but he soon got used to it. After all he was just being a good friend, helping her out of bind, it was nothing more than that. Or so he told himself.

When Taylor had finished crying Seth paid for their lunch and they walked in silence back to the hotel. They rode the elevator to their floor and walked in silence to their room, Taylor said she needed to be alone for a time and walked into her room closing the door softly behind her. Seth walked over to the TV and turned it on, keeping the volume down in case Taylor was trying to sleep. Of course everything on TV was in French so Seth soon got bored, how he would kill for a good comic book right now he thought. He got up and walked over to the the bar fridge to grab a drink, half way across the room he heard Taylor's door open.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I'm okay Seth?" Taylor asked him.

"I thought you wanted to be left alone?" Seth replied clearly confused.

"Don't you know anything about girls Seth?"

"Well no, not really." He said honestly.

Taylor walked over to Seth and grabbed his hand, moving it up to her face.

"Well first you wipe away the tears," she said, brushing the tears from the corner of her eyes with his fingers. "Then you push the hair out of her eyes." She moved his fingers through her hair flicking it back behind her head. "And then you tell her everything is going to be okay and you hug her."

"Everything is going to be okay Taylor, we can go home now. It's over and I'm here," Seth said smiling down at her.

Taylor reached around Seth and hugged him fiercely, holding him so hard Seth could feel the air being pushed out of his lungs.

"Okay Taylor... tight enough...," he coughed out as he gasped for breath.

"Thank you Seth," she said, looking up into his eyes.

Seth suddenly felt very nervous and very embarrassed, she was staring at him now, staring into his eyes.

"Don't sweat..." Seth was cut short as Taylor's lips met his.

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Ryan looked in the rear view vision mirror.

"You've got to be kidding me," he said to himself.

Less than a quarter of a mile behind him was a dark blue convertible, not just any convertible, but Summer's convertible.

Ryan put his feet on the gas and sped off down the highway, as his car jerked forward so did Summer's overtaking a car and closing the gap on Ryan. Range Rover's were large, stylish and expensive, but they were no match in speed against Summer's BMW. Ryan knew this and jumped off the highway at the next exit, he was going to have to try and lose her in the backstreets. He turned down the first street he came to and again down the first street following that. With each turn he looked out his mirror and she was still there, still following. He pushed the pedal to the floor and raced towards an orange light in the distance, he hit the intersection when the light was still orange, but Summer didn't expect the sudden surge in speed and was too late. Slamming on the breaks as the light turned red and traffic crossed in front of her, she looked on down the road as Ryan swung a right at the next turn.

Throwing the car into reverse she spun back around and raced down the way she had came, making a left at the first road and then another left at the next. Sure enough ahead of her she could see Ryan cross the road back towards the highway, spinning her car around once more, she travelled back the way they had both came and jumped on to the highway at the exact same point they had jumped off it. As she pulled onto the highway she looked ahead and sure enough, three cars in the distance was Ryan's Range Rover. She had learnt her lesson, she would keep her distance now.

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Every few hundred meters Ryan turned in his seat and gazed out the back window, since their little car chase he hadn't spotted her or her car once, yet he knew she wouldn't give up so easily. He was surprised she didn't tell Sandy or Kirsten, he was surprised she was chasing him across the country in the first place. He looked down at the dash and groaned, the petrol gauge was pointing to empty and the petrol light was on, amazed that he hadn't noticed it earlier he started looking for a gas station.

He saw one a few miles down the road and quickly pulled in, parking the car as far from the road as possible, he placed his keys in the visor pocket and got out. He filled up quickly and ran inside to pay, unfortunately for Ryan there was queue. He waited impatiently as the queue moved slowly, glancing out at his car nervously every few seconds. When he finally got to the register he paid quickly and ran back out to his car, scanning the gas station and the surrounding road for any signs of Summer before jumping inside. He reached up and pulled down the visor grabbing for his keys, but they were gone. He checked the floor infront of his seat incase they had fallen down, but they hadn't. When he sat up he looked in the mirror and saw brown eyes and brown hair.

"Hello Ryan," Summer said quietly.

Ryan was angry, very angry, his mind began to scream at him. She has no right to do this it said, she didn't watch her die it said, SHE DIDN'T WATCH HIM KILL HER it screamed. When he turned round in his seat to face Summer his eyes spat pure venom, they were the coldest, harshest eyes she had ever seen. As his face met hers she was taken slightly aback, and for a second wondered if she was doing the right thing. She looked back at him with the most determined look she could muster, yet at the same time, she was scared of him.

The first thing that Ryan noticed when he turned around was that Summer's face was bleeding, for an instance he was torn. He was so angry, so fucking angry and yet, she was bleeding.

"Your face.." he said to her. His eyes were changing, the hatred that had encased them was beginning to fade away as it battled with concern. Concern was winning.

"I fell when you drove away Ryan," she whispered timidly back to him.

It was at that point that Ryan realized she was scared of him.

And it broke his heart.

"I'm..." Ryan began dropping her gaze.

Before he could continue her arms were around his neck, she began to cry softly into his arms.

"Don't do this Ryan," she sobbed into his shoulder.

Ryan was torn, on one hand he wanted to beat the absolute shit out of Volchok, he wanted to make him feel the pain he caused Marissa, he wanted to avenge her. And on the other hand he had this wonderful girl, this girl who suddenly cared for him so much, this girl who drove across the country to stop him, this girl who he suddenly cared for so much.

"I.. I won't.." he said to her, biting back the tears that were forming at the corner's of his own eyes.

"Do you promise," she asked him, now gazing into his eyes.

"I promise Summer," he said to her.

And then she kissed him.


	7. The One Moment

Another chapter up, there was a bit of a delay because I was away for a few days, I made up for this by making this one longer than normal. Comments and Ideas appreciated!

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Seth was sitting on the edge of his bed, thinking. Taylor was in the other room, she had decided to 'go to bed' even though it was still early in the afternoon. It was only a few seconds before Seth had pulled away from their brief kiss, muttering a few incoherent sentences before walking into his bedroom and closing the door. He was taken, after all. Well, he was taken in the sense that Summer hadn't actually broken up with him yet, but relationship wise, ever since Marissa's accident they had never really been happy, or Summer had never really been happy with him.

Seth felt alone. He was thousands of miles away from home, a world away from the people he counted on to guide him, to provide him with advice. Without Summer or Ryan, even without his parents he was unsure, confused and vulnerable.

It wasn't that he didn't find Taylor attractive, that wasn't the issue. It was more the fact that she was, she had been a bitch. She had gotten Marissa kicked out of Harbour, shacked up with the Dean of Discipline and attacked Summer's attempts to become social chair. And even later, when she had partially redeemed herself she was still annoying, and kind of sad.

There was so many reasons why the kiss, his trip to Paris, why everything that was happening between them was just wrong. And yet his hands were still shaking, he still felt nervous, and all he could think about was the feeling of her lips pressing against his... her hands resting in the small of his lower back... the way she had to stand on her tip-toes to reach his mouth...

Throwing the thoughts from his mind Seth searched desperately about his room for a phone, he needed to talk to Ryan, he needed this out in the open with him and ask him for advice. He wanted to call Summer, he wanted to tell her what had happened and tell her he still loved her. But he knew it was more than she could handle right now, and he was scared of her reaction.

His search yielded no results, there was no phone in his bedroom. He opened the door to his room quietly and walked softly out towards the phone that he knew was in the kitchen area. He didn't want to make any noise, scared of perhaps waking Taylor and also of her hearing his presence.

He made it to the kitchen, managing to stub his toe into the side of the couch on the way. As he scooped the cordless phone up off it's receiver and began the slow trip back to his bedroom he heard quiet sobs coming from Taylor's room. As time progressed he could hear sniffling and louder sobbing, using all the power vested in himself he tried to focus on the mission at hand. Agile like a ninja, he managed to make it back to the door of his room without making much noise, surely not enough for the now openly crying Taylor to hear from her room.

He wasn't without emotion, each sob, each sniffle, made his heart ache. But what could he do about it, to console her, to hug and hold her might imply that he wanted more from her, more with her than the simple friendship that existed at present. And he didn't want to do that to Summer and more so, he wasn't sure that it was what he wanted. He still loved Summer, even though she was pushing him away he still loved her, he just wasn't sure if that was enough anymore.

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"You can open your eyes now Ryan," Summer said through a half smile.

After their kiss Ryan had remained where he was sitting, his eyes closed, his lips still pouted. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before, it was like their lips had been created, designed with a single purpose in mind, this moment. They had met with the heat of a thousand suns, melted into one another like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle, it wasn't two lips meeting, it was one magic moment and he believed, he truly believed that he would remember that moment forever.

Ryan opened his eyes.

"We shouldn't of done that," he said to her sadly as he turned back around in his seat.

The dream was over and all that was left was cold, harsh reality.

"I know," Summer replied with resignation as her gaze dropped to her feet.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, it didn't need to be said but they both knew what was on the others mind. A certain, skinny Jewish kid who meant the world to the both of them.

Ryan turned once more to face Summer. Looking into her eyes made him feel stronger, he had the courage to tell her how he felt, to tell her what he wanted.

"Summer... I..."

'BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!'

Ryan looked up from Summer's eyes to the back windscreen of the car. A few meters behind Ryan's Range Rover was another car, a large fat man held down the horn as he waited for them to move, they were in a petrol station after all.

'BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!'

When Ryan's gaze returned to Summer she was already climbing out of the car.

"We'll talk when we get home..." she smiled weakly at him as she closed the door, "I promise".

And then she was outside and walking towards her car. Cursing the man behind him Ryan put the car in gear and pulled out onto the highway.

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As Ryan drove he thought of Seth. Seth was completely in the dark about everything, he didn't know of Ryan's attempted suicide, about the rehabilitation centre in Rhode Island, he didn't know about Summer staying with the Cohen's and he didn't know of their kiss.

Ryan was scared of talking to Seth, scared of lying to Seth, but he also knew that he needed to talk to him. If he was going to make everything better, if he was going to fix this mess he was in right now he needed to talk to Seth.

Of course the problem was that he had no way to actually contact Seth, Seth had left his mobile phone in Portland and had called Ryan on a payphone. As Ryan pondered the situation a thought came into his head, he could call Taylor's phone and speak to Seth that way. It was so easy, he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it in the first place. He didn't have Taylor's phone number of course but he was sure that Summer would, they were supposed to be friends.

Ryan pressed the number he had set for Summer on speed dial.

"Hello," Summer's voice entered Ryan's ears.

"Do you have Taylor's phone number?"

"What?"

"I was going to try and call it and see if she was with Seth."

"You're not going to tell him what happened are you?" Summer replied, her voice shaking with fear.

"No, not just yet. I just need to speak to him Summer, he doesn't even know I was in hospital."

"Please don't speak to him about us Ryan, I want to be the one to tell him."

"Us?"

"You know what I mean," Summer said back hastily before ending the call.

Ryan pulled the phone away from his ear briefly as he overtook a slow moving car in front of him. Summer hadn't told him Taylor's number before she ended the call and he was about to call her back when the screen flashed in front of him, '1 New Message'. Ryan knew what to expect when he opened the message and sure enough in front of him was a phone number.

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Taylor's eyes were red and swollen. She had been crying on and off for the past hour, secretly hoping that Seth might hear and come in to see how she was.

It was hard, practically falling in love with anyone who was nice to you. First the Dean of Discipline, Seth last year and then Henri Michael. And now here Seth was, flying across the world to came to rescue her from Henri Michael and take her home, and what had she done, she had kissed him. She had kissed one of her only friend's boyfriends, as soon as she had done it she knew it was a mistake, but she also knew that she couldn't help herself. There was so many things about Seth that she saw in herself, the insecurity, the nervousness, the fear that they wouldn't be accepted for who they were. Seth had come a long way in the past few years, Taylor knew that, she remembered years ago before Ryan came. When Seth was a loner, his only friends years below him at school, a time when he couldn't walk the halls without becoming the victim of some form of ridicule. Taylor remembered it all so well because she had often looked at Seth, and thought that she knew how it felt, to be all alone in the world. And then Ryan had come along, and Anna and Summer, Marissa, they had all become Seth's friends and yet still Taylor remained alone. And then, just last year, it was he, the one person she had felt she could relate to that had been her first real friend, the first person to be nice to her, the first person to see how lonely she must be and understand that.

As Taylor thought about it all she heard the soft pulse of her phone ringing from the other side of the room. She couldn't think of who would actually be calling her, she only had two friends in the whole world. One was at Brown too busy saving the planet to talk to her and the other was two doors away, desperately trying to avoid her. She didn't recognise the number on the screen and hesitated a moment, she was scared that it might be Henri Michael on a different number or worse her mother. Taking a deep breath she pressed the call button on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Um.. hey Taylor.. It's Ryan."

"Hi Ryan," Taylor said as she wiped at the tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah.. I'm alright... We were just seeing my husband.."

"Oh.. Is Seth around?"

"He's in other room at the moment, but I can get him for you if you like."

"Please."

Taylor opened the door to her room and walked over to Seth's, knocking on the door she called out, "Seth. Phone."

The door opened and Seth's face popped out, he raised his eyebrows at her in question, "Ryan" she said to him, fighting back the tears that were already starting to spill over the edges of her eyes lids. He reached out and picked up the phone from her hand, as their skin touched his hand lingered for a few seconds against hers. Then the moment was over and he closed the door making sure to avoid her eyes.

"Hey man," Seth said into the phone.

"Is everything alright?" Ryan asked, taking note of Seth's depressed tone.

"Yeah, it's just Taylor. You know, whole french husband thing and all."

"And you're fine?"

"Just a little shaken up from pretending to be her new boyfriend, that's all."

"There's something.. kind of important that I need to tell you."

"Shoot."

"The real reason I'm back in Newport. It's... well it's... I tried to kill myself."

Seth was speechless, he knew that Ryan was really torn up inside about Marissa's death. In many ways Ryan had turned into another person, he seemed blinded by rage and depression and wouldn't listen to Seth, to Kirsten, even to Sandy. But Seth never thought it would come to this, Ryan was the last person in the world he would expect to do something like that.

"They said they would only allow me to leave the hospital if I stayed with Sandy and Kirsten. So they could keep an eye on me."

"I guess that makes sense," Seth said finally, an edge of apprehension in his voice.

"Not just that, but they want to send me to a rehabilitation centre as well, said that there's a lot of things I need to deal with. But don't worry, the centre's in Rhode Island. I'll be still be close to you."

"Are you even allowed to leave the centre?" Seth asked sceptically.

"I'm not sure, but you can come see me, bring me some comic books to read."

"I guess."

"I know you don't really understand, but in a way I think this will be good for me and... well I'll need you to be there with me. You're my brother."

"Of course I'll be there, wouldn't miss it for the world."

"And Seth..." Ryan began, desperate to tell Seth about Summer.

"Yeah?"

"It's... don't worry it's nothing. I just wanted to tell you about what happened."

He couldn't tell Seth, not now, not over the phone, not when Seth was on the other side of the world. He would have to tell it to Seth's face, he would have to be there to take responsibility for his own actions, to apologize to Seth and tell him that he understood just how betrayed Seth would feel.

"I've got something I need to tell you too," Seth said.

"What's up?"

"Taylor and I kissed."

"Taylor and you...?...You did what?"

"I guess she was upset about the whole Henri Michael thing and I sort of came and saved her and all that. She's been crying pretty flat out since then and I feel kind of bad but I can't really go in there, I mean me and Summer are still technically together."

"Well... well did it mean anything?"

"I... I think it did."

The two finished the call shortly after that, they had agreed that Seth should wait until he got back to Newport to speak to Summer about Taylor. And that he needed to figure out just exactly what he was feeling and for who, the whole conversation made Ryan feel dirty. Seth was being open and honest about everything that was happening with Taylor and how he felt about it and Ryan was lying his arse off to cover what had happened with Summer. It just wasn't the right time he kept telling himself, he needed to speak to Seth in person.

Ryan turned up the radio to drown out the guilt that was now pulsing through his brain, he could bare it just so long as he didn't have to think about how Seth would react when he heard of what Ryan had done.

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As soon as Ryan pulled the Range Rover into the Cohen's driveway Sandy and Kirsten were outside the house and waiting. The look of anger and disappointment on their faces tore Ryan up inside and he instantly began to feel ashamed of himself, when he put the car into park and jumped out of the car he was bombarded with questions as to where he had gone, why and who had gone with him. They had not been far from calling the police and the hospital and had been brutally worried that he might attempt suicide once more. The only thing that had kept them waiting so long was the lack of Summer's presence. They had both hoped that Ryan and Summer had gone somewhere together and that he would never do anything with her around.

As Sandy and Kirsten continued to lecture Ryan on the doorsteps of their home Summer pulled in beside Ryan.

"I'm sorry," Summer called out to the group from across the front of her car. "I had to go home to pick up some things and I asked Ryan to come with me. It's so hard going home, seeing all the photos, all the things that remind me of Marissa. I needed someone there with me, I hope you understand."

Ryan watched Summer as she spoke, he didn't know why she was covering for him but he couldn't be more grateful . She smiled at him as he mouthed 'thank you' from behind Kirsten and Sandy's backs.

Kirsten and Sandy explained to Summer that Ryan wasn't allowed to leave the house in as stern a tone in possible, but the mood was already changing and there frowns were being replaced with smiles. They both knew that Ryan was prone to helping and caring for those around him and could appreciate how hard it would be for Summer to go home. In other words, they bought the story.

"There's something else," Ryan said to Sandy once he was done telling Summer how important it was for Ryan to remain home for the next few days. When he had the attention of both Sandy and Kirsten he continued, "I know where Volchok is."

"How, where?" Sandy replied stunned.

Ryan refused to reveal the source of his information but handed Volchok's file over to Sandy and Kirsten. Sandy promised to get in touch with a friend from the DA who would make sure Volchok was collected and brought to justice. He went inside to deal with the situation right away, followed shortly after by Kirsten.

When Summer and Ryan had joined them inside, Ryan quickly excused himself and retreated to the pool house. Even though he was grateful to Summer for covering for him, for stopping him from going after Volchok. He didn't trust himself around her and the best way for him to stop himself was simply to avoid her, talking to Seth today had made everything blatantly clear. Summer and he couldn't happen, he wouldn't let it, if there was one person in the world he would never let down, one person he would never hurt, it was Seth.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seth walked into Taylor's room.

"Thanks," he said to her as he placed the phone on her bedside table.

Taylor didn't reply, she was facing the other side of the room and refused to turn around and face him. She didn't want him to see her right now, to see the mess her face had become. As Seth walked around the side of the bed to face her she turned her face away from him, trying desperately to avoid his eyes.

"Was there something else?" Taylor said into the wall.

Seth walked around in front of Taylor and reached down placing his hands on her chin, he turned her face slightly so that he could see her eyes. With his hands now on her face, Taylor was powerless to resist.

"That isn't because of me is it?" He asked her as she looked down into her eyes.

"It's not your fault Seth," she replied to him quietly.

He sat down on the bed next to her, admiring the sprawl of Paris visible through a nearby window.

"I sure feel responsible."

"Well you shouldn't."

Seth sighed to himself as he continued to gaze out the window.

"So how are we going to explain this," Seth said nervously.

Taylor slowly turned to face him, her eyes now on his.

"How do you explain how nervous I feel when I'm close to you... How much of myself I see in you... The way my hands shake when we touch..." He continued.

"Not everything has an explanation," Taylor said quietly back to him. "Sometimes it just feels right."

She picked up his hand in hers and brought it to her face, cupping her cheek with his hand.

"This?" She asked him softly.

Seth nodded as he leaned in closer towards Taylor.

"This..." She said as she responded to Seth, closing the gap between them so that their lips were mere centimetres apart.

Seth didn't need to respond, his eyes said everything that needed to be said and more. He kissed her softly, delicately, lingering in the moment. Before long they were lying down, their arms wrapped around one another, their lips pressed together.

And it felt right.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan spent the rest of the day in the pool house once more. He noticed that Summer didn't eat dinner with Kirsten and Sandy tonight, she must be locked up in Seth's room, ridden with guilt like Ryan. He knew that he had feelings for Summer, perhaps more than just that, but he also knew that nothing could ever become of it. In another life perhaps, but as long as Seth was Ryan's brother, Summer and he could never be more than friends.

Time passed and night began. He watched TV, he exercised, he played PlayStation, exercised some more, he even read. As midnight rolled around he lay in bed with the lights off, thinking about Summer, thinking about Marissa, thinking about Seth. As he thought about it more and more he didn't just feel guilty for kissing Seth's girlfriend, but also for moving on so quickly from Marissa. He knew how devastated Marissa would be if something like this had happened when she was still alive and the fact that she wasn't here anymore didn't make it better, it made it worse. These deadly thoughts, of abandoning Marissa, disrespecting her, failing her began to plague his mind once more, the last time this had happened he had been pushed to the suicide.

As he wrestled with these demons, he heard light footsteps on the pavement outside. He suddenly realised that it was raining, and that someone was running quietly towards the pool house. He watched as a short silhouette moved towards the door and began to knock softly, as a voice whispered to him through the door. He watched as she stood in the rain outside his door, calling to him quietly. He listened as she tested the door knob only to realise it was locked. And he watched as she walked away through the rain sobbing quietly.


End file.
